Friday, 29 November 2013

Pain relief.....

Having been diagnosed with osteoarthritis at the age of 21, I think but way long before that I knew I had osteoarthritis but needed an MRI scan to confirm it. I couldn't have it as at that time I had an cochlear implant and I wasn't allowed to have an MRI scan with the cochlear implant. So I had more surgery to remove the implant and eventually got an MRI scan. When it was finally confirmed, it didn't really matter to me because by then I was used to the pain and swelling I get with osteoarthritis and it was a part of my life. I never went to pain relief clinic for a long time and got an appointment many years later which was a shame. 

I should have seen someone to discuss pain relief properly so I could have proper pain relief suiting me and my lifestyle. All these years I took many different painkillers and of course I suffered from side effects which were horrible.

I like to be very active and try to make the most of my life so correct pain relief that suit me is very important. If it has many side effects so it's a big no-no for me! Or has few side effect but include making me feel weird and can't focus on anything then again it's a big no-no for me, but for the moment!

I need to be able to focus and be aware of things happening around me as I work with children and people. I once took a painkiller, not knowing much about the side effects, one morning getting ready to work with children for the weekend and never again, I lost my focus. I felt so ill and couldn't react quickly. I needed to be able to react quickly when working with children, especially with those who have special needs.

I got a job as a youth worker after the diagnose but never told anyone so I couldn't be treated differently but I am sure everyone knew that there were something wrong, they just didn't know what it was. I carried on working for years and I was still coping so I can be very determined about living life to the full! I wanted a 'normal' life in some way, I hate the word of 'normal' because I don't know what is 'normal' but I knew I did want to be 'normal' like everyone who can work. I wanted to work. I've been working since the age of 18 and hope to carry on for a while when I can!

I've been really lucky so far because I can still go to gym, if I was in a wheelchair it would be more difficult, going to gym is deadly important to me. I care about my health and would do anything to avoid feeling depressed or worse about my osteoarthritis and also to avoid amputation if possible! Going to gym or exercising at home/outside are great for bone health.

I am only 26 years old so of course I have another 60+ years to live ( I hope! ) I don't really want to spend the rest of my life in horrible pain. I know osteoarthritis will get worse because it is already getting worse anyway but able to have a life for now. Because I spend a lot of times in hospitals I can't really imagine a life after the age of 30 years old, so I'm hurrying my plans to achieve my dreams of seeing the world and experience great things but there's nothing wrong with that.
I lead my life, my life don't lead me.
Maybe when I get more older or in few years I might be more open to painkillers that has side effects but that would mean stop working with children with special needs because I can't take a risk of losing focus or being spaced out. It's horrible really. 

I don't take painkillers often, to me it usually 'stop' working after a while, so I live in pain daily yet I make crazy plans to live a great life that include travelling on my own. I know I always say life is too short but no one really know unless they are me. No one are like me. I am unique.

Not long ago, I had to be admitted to a hospital as a day patient for pain relief. I never tried it but wanted to and hoped for the best, even though deep down I knew something would happen or that it won't work. I bought my MacBook thinking I could make a start on my travel blog. I didn't even open my bag to get started, I ended up being hooked to a machine for my blood pressure and heart rate to see how I am dealing with a drip ( pain relief ) in my arm. So I couldn't move my arms much, with needles sticking in one arm and another hooked up to a machine. Gawd, how tight it was, having my blood pressure taken very often drove me nuts.

Not surprisingly, as soon as I was hooked up to a drip I started feeling dizzy and they had to stop for a bit then adjusted the dose. Once it started up again, I started feeling dizzy and feeling very nervous. My body sadly reacted to the drip. They had to stop again and lowered the dose. Eventually they had to stop the drip as I couldn't stop reacting to it and if I was on the drip any longer side effects were increasing. I didn't like the ideas of having seizures and more. I was disappointed but kinda knew it would happen. I was also gutted because I knew docs were running out of ideas of how to help me - painkillers wise.

As it didn't work, I wanted to make the most of my life, even more so I booked a trip to Thailand in Jan 2014 because I was already getting tired of my day to day life and knew it would get more harder in 2014+ and that scare me!

They had to let me go home but wanted me to go home with someone and have someone keeping an eye on me. Pfft! I live on my own and didn't want someone to keep an eye on me so of course I told hospital that I would have someone coming around to mines to check on me. As soon as I arrived home, I soon felt so shit and sleepy. Had to keep my feet up on the sofa and I soon fell asleep on the sofa. I was feeling sorry for myself that day because I wanted to be active and have something that work! 

As soon as I woke up, I jumped in a hot bubbly bath which made me feel a little bit better and also afterwards I had a visit from mum and her puppy Marley who I am in love with!! :)